Did I do something right?

There is a nearby Chinese restaurant that we frequent to pick up a bag of food and bring it home. In the big bag of food, they always include a small bag of fortune cookies. We've done this often enough for our kids to understand that you get to read your "fortune" when you break open a cookie.

This weekend, my husband and I brought home Chinese food again, and I left the paper from the cookie on the table. When the kids got home from school, they read it just out of curiosity. I looked at the paper a few hours later and there were words penciled on the back side of it.

The new fortune? "You will say No to your children."

My husband and I both laughed. Maybe we're doing something right.

Kids like to have boundaries, whether they realize it or not. They act better when they know the limits. Saying No is a loving teaching tool for little minds. When you do it well and relatively often, they learn to have appropriate behavior.

When I relate this to writing (you knew I would, didn't you), I look at the boundaries of the different genres. If I write a romance, it will not look like a psychological thriller. If my story wants to flee down a path that's not right, I'll have to pull the reigns and focus on the right path. I'm in charge of my story, although sometimes it doesn't feel like it. I need to let the story have the freedom it needs while staying within the genre boundaries.

Apparently I say No a lot. One of my children recognized that it was a word that would be said in my near future. She was right.

If I wait for the right moment, it's effective. If I say it too much, that weakens its power. I think that's true for most good answers.

I've already mentioned in a previous post about my rejection from an editor. Sometimes No is disappointing. Sometimes it proves that God is our Protector. No helps my children feel loved. No helps my story keep its focus.

There are times when parenting (and writing) feels really hard to do. And the other times - when I see the benefits of my efforts - give me the energy to press on.