If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t need this. I’m great at romance!” You’re not a man. You’re a superhero. Other men want to be you. Congratulations.
To the other 99% of the male population, let me say that I can help you learn to enjoy romance more.
The secret to really enjoying romance is… planning. A good plan will set the groundwork for success.
Some of you are hunters. You hunt for information about the woman by asking her friends or engaging in conversations with the woman about a fake friend of yours who needs advice. Don’t get crazy. Don’t let her think you’re interested in her friends, and don’t let her get interested in your fake friend.
The purpose of being romantic is to express yourself in a way that a woman will understand that you want a love relationship. If you let her know you want to move into a deeper, more intimate friendship, she will respond. Hopefully, you’ve been around her enough to know what her answer will be. This is part of the planning process.
With romance, planning really means communication.
The goal is to get to know the woman better. Finding out what makes her laugh is good, but staying in communication with her is best. Give her enough conversation to pique her interest, but keeping conversations with her simple and brief over a period of time helps her to get used to the idea of romance with you without any pressure. And that’s what you guys want. Right? No pressure?
After you get her interested in you, you must figure out what the woman wants out of romance. Too many times you men are unhappy with romance because you don’t have a clue about what the woman wants. I realize that men rarely figure this out, so I will divulge the secret. In basic terms, a woman wants three things.
1. A woman wants to feel like she’s with the best guy around, and he cares about her. The good news is that you don’t have to look like a male model for her to think you’re handsome. Women tend to overlook other physical features on guys whose warm smile sends them to cloud nine. Crazy, I know. It’s more important for us to be with someone we can have fun with. We are easily attracted to a confident, clever, and caring man. Although it would be nice, men don’t have to go shopping with us. You should find something we both like to do. The effort it takes to find something in common is worth it.
2. A woman wants to feel loved. We love an emotional experience. If you can’t hug a woman gently or slow dance with her in the moonlight, then find some other way to let her know (in your own words) that she stirs your emotions. Let her know how you feel.
3. A woman wants to feel safe in a romantic situation. Watch us because we show our thoughts, attitudes, and values with our mannerisms and body language. Let us know you care enough to know when to back off. We’d much rather think of you as a protector than a predator.
When you find out what a woman wants, you can create a balance between what she’s willing to accept and what you’re willing to do that makes both of you happy. You don’t have to be an expert on romance to win a woman’s heart. You don’t have to recite memorized sonnets and kiss her hand. That may come off a bit insincere. Guys really can have fun with romance. Be yourself and employ simple methods like: a lot more communication, more eye-contact, and possibly hand-holding or simply touching her arm.
Making a plan for romance that involves both verbal and non-verbal communication and small demonstrations of affection will keep a woman interested in you. Rather than focusing on a big, showy event, be consistent with little romantic touches over a long period of time. You’ll see that women appreciate the effort.